Being positive

"Peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment" D&C 121:7

I've come to realize that optimism isn't my strong point. Oh the irony of that sentence. But seriously, I just simply am not one to be oozing with a glow of pure positivity all the time, and who is?  We all have our moments of pessimism. I know it's all me, and it always is. I am trying to be more positive with my life, reel out the negative comments and take life for what it is and how I can make the best of it. I am learning to reel out my negative side, and look at every opportunity as what could be positive / uplifting. And guess what?! It's working! I am happier and just overall, my mentality is just better. 

But let me be real, sometimes it's just easier for me to feel like I am not good enough / smart enough / or just have enough. I realize that I am stubborn and a bit OCD and let's throw in a touch of control. But those are the things that make me Meghan, and that's OK. Sometimes, I just feel inadequate, and you know, rather than beating around the bush and getting down on myself for feeling bad about my personality, I've learned to accept my flaws and who I am. That doesn't mean I'm not trying to be better, I just know for myself that that's who I am and I am working towards a better me.

I've also realized that my lack of optimism / enthusiasm / being "quiet" or "soft spoken" can come of as mean, I'm not, I just see the world in black and white, I'm a realist, I see it for how it is. Nothing sugar coated or elaborated, just things as they are. Then there is this super empathetic, caring side to me, that I have come to realize that I guard and keep protected. Because everything that I feel, I feel very strongly about, my opinions and thoughts are ones I cherish. Sometimes it's hard for me to connect with people, not because I am stubborn about this but because I just feel like my opinions on things are sometimes irrelevant or just unnecessary. I promise, promise, promise it takes very little time to really see me if you go half way to get to know me :)

"seek for the beautiful and wholesome things in life"

^^^

And so I will. 

I just need to suck it up and own it, and learn to love myself and to stop comparing my flaws to others that seem to have it together, when I just need to pull myself together, step back and be grateful. I am a strong believer in the scripture that I put in the beginning, I know that I over think / over stress life's hurdles, and that it's really just a small moment in my life, compared to what's to come, the great things to come. With each hurdle, the grass will be a little greener depending on how I react and choose to handle that situation when it comes. 

Though, it may seem like years for me to finally be content with where I am at in my life, but hey, I'm progressing and progress=happiness. And that's enough for me. 

I love my life, my husband, and my religion. It brings me peace knowing that I am a daughter of a loving Heavenly Father, who shows such love and devotion to me, and that through my trials He is there. I find joy in knowing I can be with my family forever, and that I can ultimately find eternal happiness through Him. He is my brother, my comforter, my friend. And if I progress, I progress towards eternal life. Being Mormon is what makes me happy. I know it. I live it. I love it.   

An M.E. degree, furniture, ect.

Trevor started at the U this past week and so far he is really liking it.  He's mostly just taking chemistry classes with some labs and a trigonometry class. His schedule is scattered with a chem class discussion in the morning and a lab in the afternoon, followed by a chem class at night and his trig class. He's working less at the Jo {Joseph Smith Memorial Building} per the request of his school schedule and me. Either way this is an exciting addition to the Casey Trilogy. 

Work at the U is going well! I'm really enjoying it, it was/ is a bit tricky at times.  Mostly trying to get the doctors schedules memorized {for the most part} because we do schedule out for four different locations and also trying to navigate calls. None the less, the girls are nice, work flow is normal, pays well, and half tuition for Trevor- as of Fall 2015.

We are currently in the process of deciding whether or not to move {I really would like to}.  We adore our place on Elizabeth Street, it's close to school and work and is located in a really fun little part of SLC. But the downside of the most eclectic and charming space is the fridge, it's a bit small. We are contemplating getting a larger one and just replacing the old with the new but it would block half of the archway where our bar/ table is and it really opens up the flow of the apartment. But if we find one at a relatively reasonable price and size then we might just stay until Trevor graduates. We love it that much. 

Option two, is student housing, location is always nice. Price, around the same maybe some give or take. But we would be in a student housing ward, with students, some our age, some not, but it would be so fun! and it would be a change. I really do well with change I've realized. As much as I like consistency, change is my best friend. Sometimes I just get a little down on myself and moody when my lifestyle is always the same. So moving would offer my same personal things, with a different layout. 

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My parents came to town a few weeks back and it was nice to see them. They dropped off a darling hutch and it looks so dang cute in our apartment! I want to paint it and add some color. 

I'm thinking the pale yellow and modge podging the back with some geometric pattern that compliments  the curves. Yay or Nay? Color opinions are welcomed.

Also we have a dresser and a side table that I want to paint white but stain the natural wood. The top of the dresser natural and the side table drawer natural, and choose between these two handles.

So we will see what comes of our furniture. 

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On another note, Trevor is in the process of interviewing for Apple (his life dream to work at corporate, but seriously, end goal here). So he's on interview 2/3 and with his personable personality, and good looks I think he should get the job. Plus, it would get his foot in the door to a long hallway of opportunities along with school (thinking positive). Oh, and they also, apparently, are flexible with schedules which is a plus on plus for us. 

I'm starting my last full semester of the BC this Fall, I'm honestly kind of sad.  The BC has been the most absolute fun, I have made some really great friends and *cliche moment* memories there. Say what you may about this small little two year LDS institution (I think the black sheep of the BYU's), but with any other college experience it's the been the best for moi. But life moves on and I'm for sure in my next chapter of life....